i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
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I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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