dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
