I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
