I smell stomach acid.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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