i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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