I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
