: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
