he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Still dying that you shit outside
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
