And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
