come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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