Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Panties = found
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