I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
