so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
