You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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