there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
