If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
