I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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