I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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