Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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