How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
