I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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