Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
