bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Do vagina's smell?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
