So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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