this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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