What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
