It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
