oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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