Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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