Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
where are you?
Hypothermia
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
