you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
