I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i out mim tonsoeep
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
