Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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