sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So vagazzling was a success
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
