Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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