I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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