I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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