just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize