I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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