I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
