How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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