whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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