my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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