i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
