Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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