I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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