Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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