just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize