the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
