I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
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Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The Olympian is in my bed
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize