just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You're like the curious george of whores
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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