I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
