I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
