and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
