So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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