The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
no, he came in my armpit
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
