I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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