I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
