I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
