oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is Oprah even human
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize