Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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