Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
