i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
