Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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