next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
