you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
